Entry 71: "A Currency Affair"

Yo!

So, the REALLY REAL series finale of one of the smartest written shows on TV, Jericho, aired last night. Apparently all the peanuts in the world couldn't save that show indefinitely. Although, rumor has it, SciFi Channel may be picking up a third season soon. Which is good since despite the more-final-ish ending the CBS press release said the show would have, it still felt like a cliffhanger. Although that's coming from a viewer who hasn't seen the original cliffhanger ending for season two (probably the Allied Air Force jets actually shooting down Jake's Cessna plane and trying to avoid dying in the crash...?) In any case, there's absolutely no word on when or if that happens, but at least now we know where to send the nuts.

Over the past week, a unique financial event has occurred. People are noticing more and more a newly redesigned $5 bill which some have reacted to at first with outcries of counterfeiting!

In case you don't have any fives in your wallet right now because you just bought a Subway sandwich with your last one, here's the design we all know by now:



And here's the series-2006 model:




So obviously the noticeable differences are the big fuchsia five in the lower-right of the backside, all the super-small gold "05"s on the right side of the back (better known as EURion Constellations, which force most color photocopiers to reject the bill for copying... Don't ask me how... Just read THIS link.), the ten stars to the right of Lincoln's face, and the ten on the other side of the front area, the fives on either side of the bottom of the front of the bill are now white instead of pale-ish green, and of course the large green oval behind Lincoln's head is now about as gone as Penn Jilette on Dancing with the Stars.

Was all this extra security really necessary though? We're now dealing with a $5 that's more secure than the $50! I read somewhere that the purpose for doing all this crazy printing trickery was to fight counterfeiting, but I haven't heard of the five being that commonly used for that purpose. Logically, the higher-value denominations would be used so the criminals would get more real money back as change, hence the hundreds, fifties and twenties being the top trifecta of being used in one of the worst federal-level felonies on the books.

Sure, it's obviously important to have security measures in place to prevent as much as possible, but this much? for a bill denomination that's scarcely used for this purpose? As I said, I do understand and support the reasoning, but I'd love to see how the $1 will be changed probably around 2015, which by the way hasn't happened since 1969, when Neil Armstrong was so famously misquoted on the moon (I still say it was "one small step for man," not "...for A man").

Bottom Line: All this paper's gonna be obsolete anyway when we get those nanoscopic implants in our thumbnails around 2025, which will be linked to everything from our PayPal accounts to Social Security information. At least, if I'm to believe that prophetic ABC 20/20 story from 1996 (I think that was John Stossel who ran that story...). The way I see it, we're probably better off enjoying old-fashioned paper while it lasts. Just as long as the vending machines will still accept my singles, no matter how crazy the printing gets. Because daddy needs his Doritos.

...But that's just me.

Later.

-D.

Entry 70: "You, Me & Dupré"

Yo!

"...I wonder if she spitzer swallows..."

That's yet another of the multitude of internet one-liners making the rounds this week in response to the revelatory (not sure if that's a word... too lazy to look it up) news that politicians cheat on their spouses... something that has never happened before in American politics.

Here's the rest of the big top-ten list of Eliot Spitzer/Alexandra Dupré jokes, courtesy of entertainment blog TheFug.com, and my personal BFF, Google (sorry Fug poster, I gotta censor you a bit):

3. It's actually refreshing having a straight politician get busted.
4. Now for her 15 minutes of shame.
5. Spitzer is obviously into some freaky s***, girl looks like Sandra Bullock!
6. On the plus side, the new governor is blind and black. Novelty politicians are awesome.
7. As my husband and I were watching the scandal unfold on T.V., the question was asked "Why did he do it?" My husband blurted out at the tube "Cuz’ he has a d***, that's why!"
8. I'm not one to judge...I’m so hungry, I’d sell my left t** for a Hebrew National right now.
9. This has got Ashton Kutcher written all over it. That man really is the best at what he does.
10. For $5,500/hour, Spitzer and the entire state assembly could pound me into next week if they liked.

Okay, time to move on. Yes, what ensued was hilariously awkward, but-- oh, wait, here's someone else with a full-on video parody!



So maybe NOW we can move on with our lives and pay attention to the next pressing issue: Exactly how regularly inappropriate was Obama's ex-minister? Because this morning's news conference explanation just didn't cut it for me. But it did prove, as Slate.com's John Dickerson wrote today, that it might just be possible to give a State of the Union address before you're president. Apparently here. the Oval Office desk was as optional as Obama's still-M.I.A. lapel pin. The man likes podiums, I guess. Nothing wrong with that. Anyway, here's the clip:



I sometimes get into news discussions with some of my coworkers, and I actually agree with my boss on one thing. News really is depressing and repetitive. It's not enough that we have to hear about the latest Obama-related slip up that Hilary's people are being suspiciously quiet about at first. We have to hear it reiterated at 6pm, and 11pm, and 6amthe next day, and at noon on the radio on our lunch breaks, and again at 4 when we get off work and are listening to our news podcasts that were prepared for release the previous night. And yet again at 6pm when we're at home just as our preservative-laden TV dinners are getting warm. Have you ever wondered what it would be like without the news networks? To just have a self-imposed "information embargo," if you will, just for maybe a day or two, to give your mind a rest from the repitition. Yes, it's risky, what with something important happening that you won't know about within seconds, such as word getting out about one of the Sex & the City women in a lost sex tape (read: "lost sex polaroids") from 16 years ago and whether or not the "carpet" matches the "drapes." At least it's not like you'll be missing something you won't hear about ever again.

...But that's just me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta check CNN online AND on-air at the same time to get double the political scoop while I open, in another browser tab, all my various celeb gossip sites and drift back-and-forth between my computer, TV and today's Daily Press newspaper.

....Okay, that last joke was overkill. It's 3AM. I'm too tired to think straight. Gimme a break (of that Kit Kat bar).

.......Later.

-D.

Entry 69: "Sequels of War"

Yo!

Ugh... Up late again... Long work schedule tomorrow and most of the weekend.... Funeral to attend Friday...... And the beat goes on......

Quick post here, 'cause I said the next one would cover this, even though bynow it's a little dated. Last post I mentioned the first teaser trailer being released recently for soon-to-be mega killer app Gears of War 2. I said I would cover it next week. Two wednesdays later, it still feels like one Sunday earlier that it actually is, give or take several dozen hours or so, more or less.

.............My brain done broke.

Anyway, for those who still haven't seen this trailer yet, I suppose I'm obligated to paste an embed tag in this post.... Voila:



So apparently this was/still is a very big deal in the Xbox community. Never mind the extreme unrealisticness of two chainsaws going Jack Sparrow on each other, clashing dramatically up close and personal like this. We all know that realistically at that angle of impact, Marcus's chainsaw gears would have forced the alien Locust guy's chainsaw straight down along it at such speed, it would have severed off all four exposed fingers on that angle, down to the knuckle. Marcus would have been stunned with the sudden pain, leaving the Locust guy to pull all sorts of similarly creative executions to finish the job, above and beyond the classic Michael Madsen's ear-ectomy from Reservoir Dogs.


Nevertheless, this trailer actually caused more problems than it solved by failing to answer the billion questions that immediately arose, such as:


"Well sure, it exists now, but what's new?"


"How will the story advance? Will it (please, God!) be better and longer than the last game?"


"Who the crap is Marianna? (:22 into the clip)"


"THAT SOUNDED LIKE CARMINE SCREAMING! Didn't he get sniped in the head in the last game's story?? I'm pretty sure he's an asthmatic, not a Highlander! How did he survive?!?"


"Are we gonna be getting timed button presses to trigger the chainsaw dueling sequence in multiplayer?"


"Are we gonna see a special guest appearance from Halo's Master Chief near the end to prepare us for the inevitable Gears of War 3?"


"Is Blomkamp still making the Halo movie happen or what?"


"How many licks to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop????"


...But no answers. Yes, friends, that's all that Cliffy and Company showed us, and yes it was enough to get people away from Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 again, which I suppose is what it intended to do: tease the public. But they have to know people are gonna start to lose interest again unless they can keep cranking out deserved hype about this to maintain interest despite the other 360 gems due out this year, and I'm sure you're all tired of hearing mentioned by now, such as Grand Theft Auto 4, Too Human, Unreal Tournament 3 (which I thought only the PC and PS3 guys were gonna have!), Lego Indiana Jones (and FINALLY Batman), Midnight Club: Los Angeles, the Highlander game, The Bourne Conspiracy, HALO WARS, Madden 09, Splinter Cell 5, the Ghostbusters game, THIS laughable joke, and most importantly, the seventh Crash Bandicoot platformer game, which as we all know is vastly better than all those lesser, inferior brands of SOFTware. Yeah, I said it. Don't be hatin'. We as consumers naturally have short memory and attention spans, especially the gamers, and we need reassurance that our $50+ will be worth something this Thanksgiving. That can only happen with real game footage.


Bottom Line: We expected better from you, Epic Studios. You said at GDC that you managed to do more impressive stuff visually than what you gave us the first time around. All we saw is that you guys really like the color red. Like we're not getting enough blood on Xbox 360 games generally anyway, unless you're playing Chessmaster Live or something.

Later.

-D.