Entry 86: "A Thin Line Between Love & Hadron"

Yo!

As all of you know by now, this week is the seventh anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 attacks. Now, a brief moment of silence in honor of the victims.



























.........................Thank you.

"It's the end of the world as we know it....."

-Michael Stipe

Sad, but true.

For those who don't know, or slept peacefully through it, yesterday early morning was almost the end of the world!!

Semi-seriously.

See, there's this ridiculously large, underground test chamber on the border between Switzerland & France called....

...The LARGE HADRON COLLIDER!!! (*cue dramatic reverb music)

...That was designed to perform a lot of crazy-complex tests to determine the origins of the universe or something like that... According to an Associated Press report, the Collider's experiments...

"could reveal more about 'dark matter,' antimatter and possibly hidden dimensions of space and time. It could also find evidence of the hypothetical particle — the Higgs boson — which is sometimes called the 'God particle' because it is believed to give mass to all other particles, and thus to matter that makes up the universe."

The first proton beams ran a "test lap" around the machine Wednesday morning; nothing too serious or groundbreaking initially... We just now know the thing works. And can expect the big tests to happen within the next six to eight weeks or so, when we'll be seeing a lot more of this happening:


Holy crap.

Why this is considered by some to be the "beginning of the end" is for a number of reasons. Some theorize the protons the collider was built to smash together, already traveling around inside it at the speed of light, could theoretically create a micro black hole (yes, the "no light can escape its gravitational vacuum force" kind) that COULD eventually grow & consume the entire planet.

...Also maybe galaxy....

Another reason is one of the collider's experiments could also HYPOTHETICALLY create what's known as a "Strangelet," or Strange Matter. Which, due to the substance's composition, upon its creation would (even a nanoscopically small piece of it) eventually come in contact with the floor of the collider and guess what? The collider itself would be entirely changed into Strange Matter. Then the underground caverns surrounding the collider would change. Then everything touching the ground all around the world. The runaway fusion reaction would just continue until every atom on, in and of Earth literally becomes "strange."

I couldn't discuss this latter scenario with anyone without getting laughs.

Geez, and with the big election heating up at less than sixty days away, I suppose we don't need the LHC to make American politics any stranger, right?

(*cue drums-and-cymbal rimshot)

Anyway, both scenarios are only extreme hypothetical outcomes that, like other horrifying outcomes, have been supposedly disproven several times over. Or so we're told.

Bottom Line: Realistically, even if the disproving scientists are right and the LHC's experiments-- nay, existence won't yield anything apocalyptic... Isn't the fact that many educated people are making reasonably sound arguments for what could go wrong with such a groundbreaking project reason enough not to do it? More than that, shouldn't we be using this 21st-century scientific brilliance to help fix humanity's problems as they are now, and not to play russian roulette with mankind's destiny in the name of understanding the universe? Besides, I'm pretty sure Michael Jackson sang something about "starting with the man in the mirror" and getting your own house in order before you go fixing and exploring others.... As any sci-fi fan will tell you in a heartbeat, the worst things imaginable have happened despite the best of intentions.

What if humanity isn't supposed to discover the God particle?

What if advancing mankind carries just too damn much cost?

...Pardon my français...

...But that's just me.

I can't go into this topic more without my brain imploding into a black hole, instantaneously reducing me and my house to a singularity, so go HERE for the official LHC website and HERE for Wikipedia's article for more information.

Later. I need a break.
-D.


P.S. By the way, just in case the world ends, Douglas Adams' dolphins say so long and thanks for all the fish.

Entry 85: "Why So Seriously?"

Yo!

Ladies & gentlemen...

Okay, probably mostly gentlemen, I guess...

...The Xbox 360 Achievements list for Gears of War 2 was released this past weekend!!!

Among the notable ones are:

"Friends with Benefits" - 50G
(Complete all acts in co-op as Marcus or Dom)

That right there is a winner in my book! Otherwise, it's back to the Gears 1 system of "No, it's MY turn to be Dom! I gotta get that achievement!" since before, it only worked if you were that character. By the way, not helping squash the running joke that started last summer about homosexual undertones in Gears' campaign between Marcus and Dominic, the two achievements that you get before this one are actually called "One Night Stand" (10G) and "Open Relationship" (30G). 'Nuff said.

"Photojournalist" - 10G
(Submit a spectator photo)

Yeah, way to steal that from Battlefield: Bad Company! What, we don't get an achievement for submitting video? Wait. Has it been confirmed whether or not we even get video?? How will the photo system work? Is theater mode user-friendly, assuming we get one? ...I need a hug.

"Kick 'em When They're Down" - 10G
(Perform all 11 unique executions on a downed enemy)

Okay, so you have basic melee punch, curb stomp, all seven returning weapons from Gears 1, the big shield-thing... Ah! Grenades? That's the eleventh execution, right?? Or does the Flamethrower get one too? Where's that fan-forum weblink....?

"Hoard the Horde" - 30G
(Survive all 50 waves of Horde; any difficulty, any map)

I can see the casual-difficulty sessions happening now... People running around with snipers against all those Locust A.I. bots, gloating like Oprah Winfrey in fall sweeps: "YOU get a headshot! YOU get a headshot! YOU get a headshot!!!"

"Crossed Swords" - 10G
(Win 10 chainsaw duels; any mode)

This is the EXACT reason Microsoft doesn't want third-party game peripheral makers to sell X360 controllers with turbo-repeat buttons. They'd break the system, man! ...Even though there are still way too few of these achievements that require super-fast button mashing to get, they'd still pose a threat to the fairness of Xbox Live, I suppose.

"Back to Basic" - 10G
(Successfully complete the five lessons of multiplayer Training Grounds)

....Um.... People know how to play this game by now. You'd kinda be hard-pressed to find someone who owns an Xbox 360 and hasn't at least rented Gears 1 since it came out in late-2006. This kind of achievement was important in say, Shadowrun, which these days you can't PAY people to play that game on PC as well as 360 like it was intended to by the way, but for purposes of getting players accustomed to multiplayer since that's all the game was and there's no campaign mode to teach them how to play in that game. Multiplayer training in Gears 2... From what I've seen, it's way too much like Gears 1 in terms of actual play dynamic, so the NEW training would be basically what, teaching you how to crawl away slowly from someone about to decapitate you with a crossbow? Real smart, Cliffy. Just saying.

"Smells Like Victory" - 10G
(Kill 30 enemies with the Scorcher Flamethrower, any mode)

Okay, I remember when rumors were flying around last year that there was gonna be a flamethrower weapon you could buy as an optional add-on from Xbox Marketplace eventually. Guess Epic dragged their feet on it for so long they figured they'd throw it into the sequel. Fair enough. Now, about those rumors of a playable female soldier character... When can we expect Gears 3?

"Takes a Licking" - 30G
(Melee 30 Tickers, any mode)

WHAT THE CRAP IS A TICKER?? Ah, forget this one. Next achievement!

"Once More, With Feeling" - 10G
(Perform 30 perfect active reloads, any mode)

I know, I know... All you 'active-whores' in Live Multiplayer are rejoicing about being able to get this achievement again, right?

"Completionist" - 30G
(Recover all 41 collectibles, any difficulty)

ALL RIGHT! More COG Tags to collect!!

"Suicide Missionary" - 150G
(Complete all campaignacts on Insane difficulty)

Whoa, mama. So this, plus the other three stackable achievements you get automatically from the other difficulty modes (25, 50 & 75G for Casual, Norman & Hardcore respectively), plus the 10G you get for the last chapter of the last act in the game, means trudging all the way through Insane difficulty in the end means you get 310 Gamerscore in one shot! ...Oh, wait. 340. Can't forget about those collectibles, now can we?

Now, here's my favorite one:

"Seriously 2.0" - 50G
(Kill 100,000 enemies, any mode)

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! Scream it out from the highest mountains! Tell your children! Tell your neighbors! Tell your neighbors' children! Tell your postmaster! The 'Seriously' achievement no longer requires using the TrueLuck-- sorry, TrueSkill RANKED matchmaking system! The achievement description said ANY MODE! Sure, the flipside is 10,000 would be too easy for people to help each other get too quickly, so they tack on an extra digit to the end of that number to counterbalance the removal of Gears 1's ranked restriction, but I don't care! Seriously soesn't require the TrueSkill system anymore!!!

It technically hasn't for a while though, come to think of it. The Windows Vista PC version of Gears 1 has an achievement called "Not So Seriously..." that you get for 10,000 kills in regular unranked player matches. What, the Xbox 360 crowd couldn't get that patch to reward all our hours of unranked Xbox Live time because we're shallow enough to enjoy playing with friends we know more than total strangers who trash talk way more often than not in the ranked rooms so we don't deserve anything to show for it? Oblivion got that extra achievement patch! Mass Effect got their extra achievement! Army of Two got some too! Heck, even Stranglehold got some new multiplayer achievements added later!

Bottom Line: The list looks as varied and interesting as we'd all figured it would be! I give Cliffy & company credit for knowing how to design achievements. But what have they FIXED?? Sure, a lot of attention's been rightfully given to this game for breaking new ground, but what about cutting the grass on the old ground? What about all the control glitches involved with, for example, turning tight corners and getting killed from a shotgun blast to the head at a suspicious & laggy angle? Having said all that, why patch today what you can charge sixty bucks for AGAIN two years later, right?

Smart business at its best.

...But that's just me.

HERE's the full achievement list, if you're interested...

Happy belated Labor Day everyone... More later.
-D.