Entry 43: "R.I.P.... A.N.S...."

Yo!

Yeah, sorry I'm so late with this one, guys. Betcha thought I'd forgotten about you fine readers, huh? Tonight's 24 was just that good. Keep your friends close and your crooked father closer, huh J.B.? Moving on...






So who else here is tired of hearing about this? Anna Nicole Smith hasn't been dead a whole week yet, and already all the news organizations are putting together their own spin theories on Dannielynn Hope's real father, and the guy who stands to gain control of Anna's money... as well as the legal rights to pursue the billions Anna's dead first husband, J Howard Marshall, left behind... A matter that to this day, almost twelve years after his death, remains unsolved. Howard K. Stern vs. Larry Birkhead vs. Prince Frederick von Anhalt vs. That Guy From Jerry Springer That Time Who Fathered 25 Kids, I Forget His Name.... Boy He Sure Got Around. Seriously, suspected dads are stepping forward left and right since Anna's death Thursday afternoon which, should they all have valid basis to claim their paternity, begs the question, did any of these guys ever use protection? Geez, where's Maury Povich when you need him? The perfect person to whip out the DNA results and settle this madness once and for all.

There are also some theories running around, as mentioned in the bottom video above, that Howard K.'s "foul play" may in fact be the cause of Anna's death, and there are others saying that he may have also purposely made Daniel O.D. last fall and trigger his death, which would obviously make him judged as an unfit father for Daniellynn, as well as an overall despicable person, IF IN FACT THESE THEORIES ARE TRUE. Please do not misquote me. These theories are not my own, Donn-The-Game-Master's, and have yet to be proven conclusively. CNN said this weekend that even Anna's autopsy yielded inconclusive cause of death results.

...But the one thing that should be discussed as much as, if not more than this twisted maybe-dad versus maybe-dad circus, is the fate of Anna's five month old daughter, the only definite surviving member of this family, excluding Anna's parents and other relatives and whoever the dad is. I mean, Mommy's dead. Brother's dead. "Daddy" remains to be determined, and supposedly the baby's somewhere in the Bahamas with, of all people, Howard K. See, if Birkhead's the dad, at least he's got Anna's mom's seal of approval, which means the baby will definitely at least have her grandparents involved in her life. von Anhalt... Well, he just married Zsa Zsa Gabor. If he's somehow the father........ Um... well, good luck to Dannielynn, I guess. I actually don't know that much about him. Besides, I'm behind schedule enough with this blog as it is to put more time into looking up someone else on Wikipedia. Okay, and it's late and I'm kinda lazy. It is public belief though, that it's very doubtful that he'll test positive. But if Howard K. is in fact the father... And more than that, if he turns out to be the next O.J. Simpson, and the courts find (conclusive, this time) proof that he is in fact responsible for wifey's (no bloody glove here, though) and son-in-law's death...

...Well that just brings me to this week's Bottom Line. This is apparently what happens when one mixes business with pleasure. Remember, Howard K. was Anna's lawyer once upon a time, and now all of a sudden he's paternal candidate number one. I really feel for that poor child though, because again, as I said earlier, the ensuing legal wars will ultimately decide not only who stands to gain all of Anna's money, but the destiny of this five-month-old little girl. Period. It doesn't get more serious than that. This isn't just any run-of-the-mill money battle in the courts, there's an innocent baby getting helplessly caught in the crossfire here. The media's overwhelming focus recently on who is/isn't the father and what really killed mother and son is really in need of getting toned down a bit in favor of decent reporting and fixing of the one aspect of the whole situation that CAN be changed for the better: The baby's life.

Good luck, Dannielynn Hope Smith. It looks like you'll really need it, depending on the results of the big DNA test.

....But that's just me.

Sigh.... See you next week.... Earlier, I hope.

-D.